I just found out that things around me has completely change at first i thought i am the one that change but not is the things and ppl around me that make me change alot.
When i sense that i really cant stant it it just totally sux la but i knew that when i am with someone that i am not close with i am always very happy but when i am with those ppl that i am close with i totally feel moody.the person that has change is u not me and is u who is the one that change i really want back my old self now cos i really want to be happy not moody.I have ever thought tat not having any friend is the best but i am wrong it is that having friends is good but i really depends on wat kind of friends i make. Making friends like them would cheer me up when i am sad thanks but when i am with them i cant find the laughter i me i only can find it some time but with them i could find it always when with them why you all just can be like them and make me happy.Actually somethings i really dare not tell anyone cos i noe how u will feel after hearing and my only way is always writing it out on paper or post in blog. I really want to try to sort things out using talking face to face to u but i just dun have the courage to do so it really takes alot of courage to make me to talk face to face to u when i have problems.I also found out that with out u i found back my real self like today cos i think tat u are jjust taking things for granted but i dun noe why u ppl love to take advantage of me when i treat u good i really got no idea wat has happen may be i shall not be that kind cos my kindness is always being taken advantage of am i such a good person to take advantage of. My silience dose not mean anything it dose not mean onsent or not.But when i am slient means i am thinking something u really need to noe how to differtiate how my expression of thinking and emo. But u will not noe if u are not so close to me or i tell u when u ask. But mostly my personal things will not be told to u cos i noe things that i told out will be spread and will not kept to yourself.U want see my phone see all u like u will not find any of my secrets in it cos all are kept i 1 place my heart and mind. I will omly tell it out when i am feeling really down.You cant see from someone outside the inside of someone strong outside is always very weak and the person is like me but a person who look weak outside is alway strong inside . I really want to tell my feelings out but i do not have the guts i really dun noe how to say but it is really damn damn diffcult for me to say.
I believe tat i could really find my true friend soon.IT could be a girl or guy but i noe i will find it soon it maybe u and it may not be u.
